NHL Lockout Update: Bettman Is To Blame

Wow, eighty-four days, eh? If you're like me, you miss hockey a lot. And by a lot, I definitely mean more than this:

Bettman in 2008, presumably describing how much
money the Thrashers made that year.

For those of you a little behind on the current lockout news, here's the skinny:
The two sides met on Tuesday and Wednesday, with both meetings lasting until almost 1:00am. The idea behind this series of meetings is that it was to be players and owners only. No Bettman, no Daly, no Fehr brothers. Apparently, the meetings on Tuesday were great, and heaps of progress was made. That means Wednesday can only get better, right?

Wrong. Word is that Bettman and the owners proposed a deal to the union, and the union retreated to review it in brief detail. Hmm.. brief detail? Oxymoron? Anyway, the players returned to the owners by saying that their (the owners) increased concession in the 'make whole' area was a start. This statement, for some ridiculous reason, set the owners off. They believe that their added $89 million to the players was an incredibly noble and honorable sacrifice, and they were insulted when the players didn't fall to their knees and kiss their feet and worship the glorious ground they walk upon. Apparently the owners believe their shit don't stink, and the only reason they offered the union more money is so players could buy peach-blossom flavored air fresheners for their less-worthy player shit.

Gary Bettman, flanked by morons.

Give me a break owners. You're insulted that the players said your 'make whole' concession was just a start, meanwhile, the concept behind the 'make whole' idea is to make the players whole for the millions of dollars you're unfairly taking away from them. Should they not be insulted? And why is this even an issue? It should be non-negotiable. If the amount to give the players to make them whole is being negotiated over, obviously it isn't making them whole, now is it? There's only one number that makes the players whole, so it seems pretty silly for the owners to crack the shits over the players assuming that the word "whole" means "whole". Seems like the owners side is filled with lots of oxymorons, minus the oxy. Oh well, can't get much worse on Thursday, right?

Wrong. See, Bettman's 'proposal' was more of an ultimatum, no negotiating involved at all. The owners noble concession on the 'make whole' ridiculousness and their decision to stop pursuing to change the free agency rights was contingent on the fact that the union agree to three things:
-5 year individual contract length (7 for re-signings).
-No escrow caps or compliance buyouts.
-10 year CBA length.

Gary Bettman thinking.

Negotiatingly, in true negotiating form, the players then negotiated a negotiating negotion. Gary Bettman, however, wasn't having any of it. After seeing that the players had proposed an 8 year CBA length and 8 year maximum individual contract length, he had his pocket-holder Bill Daly leave the union a voicemail to let them know that their counter-proposal was unacceptable, that they weren't interested in further talks, and that their proposal was off the table. Well gee, Gary, you don't suppose you could have NEGOTIATED? Instead, he rejected the proposal without giving it more than ten minutes of thought, which is becoming a recurring trend. Thinking doesn't seem to be one of Gary's strong suits these days.


After Daly's middle-school-esque voicemail move, Don Fehr took to the podium and regretfully informed the media of the bad news. It was clear he was almost at a loss for words. This came just minutes after he had addressed the media to tell them of the good progress being made and the small gap that remains. Obviously, that gap is a lot bigger than he perceived. Just as the shocked media was preparing to pack it up for the day, word came down that Bettman and Daly were on their way to the podium. The two arrived, and Bettman spent nearly 45 minutes explaining every aspect of the negotiations to the media; an action he has condemned since the talks began in August. In the epitome of his hyprocricy, Bettman held nothing back. Daly chipped in here and there, but just spend most of the time holding Bettman's pocket and looking like a fat version of that guy from The Shield. Afterwards, they left the stand, and that's all she wrote. For now.

The media captured a picture of Bettman and Daly leaving their hotel bathroom late at night.

Photo credits courtesy of Getty Images/Jim McIssac, Associated Press, Reuters/Mike Blake, Prison Break