Nail Yakupov Celebrations Rant

Alright, I'm growing a bit tired of all the criticism that Nail Yakupov is getting for his goal celebrations. The first-overall draft pick has 4 goals in 6 games this season, and two of them have been the center of controversy because of what's taken place after.

Yakupov's stick says warrior. His weapon
of choice in war? The nail gun.

The first one that got a bunch of people in a stir was his second NHL goal in the Oiler's game against the Stanley Cup champion Los Angeles Kings. Let's briefly review the event of this game. Kings forward Jeff Carter scores a beauty to take a 1-0 lead over Edmonton in the second period. The Oilers battled back and tied the game with just over a minute to go, but the goal was waved off for goalie interference. Which was the correct call, by the way. The fans at Rexall place were outraged, and began to chant, shake the boards and litter the ice. After nearly ten minutes of the game being delayed, the puck was dropped again. Edmonton pulled their goalie. Down to the final ten seconds, and Jonathan Quick makes a blocker save. The rebound pops to Nail Yakupov who bats it out of the air and into the net to tie the game. The place went ape-shit, and so did he. He exploded down the ice with a burst of energy and slid on his knees through the neutral zone. Just two games into his NHL career, and he scored a huge goal that will be remembered for a long time by the fans. The Oilers went on to win the game in overtime.

Nail Yakupov: 1
Miserable fanless office workers: 0

Right away, his celebration was criticized by what I assume to be four main groups of people. Kings fans, baseball fans, basketball fans and dumbasses. Obviously the Kings fans that criticize Yakupov are just bitter because they got embarrassed, so they need to find something bitch about. Somewhat understandable. Baseball fans complain about the celebration because their sport and its players are so unbelievably boring that there's really never anything to get that excited about during the ridiculously long and stagnant regular season. Or they're just mad that you cannot slide nearly as far in dirt as you can ice. In basketball, each team scores about 40 seemingly insignificant baskets throughout the course of the game, so it's understandable that they can't grasp why someone would celebrate so extensively for one goal. Finally, the dumbasses all say the same thing, and it goes something like this: "Act like you've scored before. You're a professional, and scoring is your job." True, it is the job of a hockey forward to score goals. But the difference between their job and yours is that you don't have 18,000 people that jump up and scream your name every time you equate the balance sheet of a company no one's ever heard of.

Seriously people, show a little excitement in your life. If you had watched the full game, you would have understood how exciting that goal was at the time, given the events leading to it. "He put the spot light on himself, very selfish."  Give the kid a break; it's his second game in the league, and he scored the kind of goal that most players only dream of. He was having fun and showing his passion for the game. Then some bitter sports fans complain because he "acted childish". Would you rather all hockey players who score a game-tying goal in the waning moments of a game just skate to the bench and sit there like it didn't matter? No, you moron! You want your players to be just as excited as you are, because it shows they actually care. And if you're not excited, then I don't know what you're watching the sport for.

Derek Morris registering his only 'shot'
of the game. Nail Yakupov's unbelievably
over the top completely unnecessary excessive
celebrating, clearly and explicitly on display
in this picture, justifies the forth-coming
superman punch from Morris.

Fast forward to Nail's fourth NHL goal. (This comes after the empty-netter he scored, followed by no celebration at all, effectively debunking every claim that he excessively celebrates when it isn't necessary.) His fourth was an overtime game winner that bared striking resemblance to the game-tier against Los Angeles. This time, Nail whacked it in out of mid air as he was moving towards the net. He stopped behind the net after scoring and called his teammates to him to celebrate. Close to the celebration, Phoenix defenseman Derek Morris was complaining to the refs for a non-existent hand-pass, and on his way to the celebration, Edmonton defenseman Ryan Whitney said something to Morris, the two bumped each other, and Morris immediately began swinging hooks at Whitney. A scrum ensued but was quickly dispersed. Yakupov was blamed by the commentators for the whole thing, and by extension, the people who listen to the commentators, who clearly lacked a firm grasp of the obvious, as Doc Emrick would say.

The whole controversy surrounding Nail Yakupov's celebrations is nothing but buffoonery of the highest order. I hope that when he scores his next goal, he lights the end of his stick on fire and burns his name onto the boards right in front of the opposing teams bench, all while wearing sunglasses that he inconspicuously hid in his red-hot gloves which read "Get Nailed."

Photo credits: AP Photos/The Canadien Press, Jason Franson, blogs.plos.org, Jose Luis Pelaez, Inc./Corbis, AP Photos/Ross D. Franklin